As most of you know my parents were taken abruptly on one beautiful sunny day by a driver who was in a hurry and ran a stop sign. His punishment? A citation for running a stop sign and a fine. For two lives. Doesn’t seem fair does it? Well life isn’t fair. We get in our minds that things we cherish are going to last forever - a favorite keepsake, a pet, a loved one. Nothing will last forever.
When I moved to Western North Carolina, I had the mindset that I was going to learn as many skills as possible through my parents who actually “lived” a homestead lifestyle (something I was previously was ashamed of – shame on me.) They gardened, canned, preserved ….and yes even baked and cooked, none of which I knew nothing about. But, I was there to learn. Unfortunately, the lessons only lasted nine-months – which would have been long enough, had actually been doing the “doing”, but I only “watched”. Again, figuring I had plenty of time for the “doing” part. After all, I made the move from the big city to be close to them so we could do things together forever. Well forever was short lived.
How many of us consider forever? Our food stores aren’t going to last forever. Our preps aren’t. And sadly, our loved ones aren’t either. Are you prepared for any of this? Are you prepared that the one weapon you had to protect yourself and family breaks leaving you defenseless? Or, the sacks of flour you planned on lasting forever are now riddled with bugs and have to be discarded? Or the love of your life, a child, family member or friend is taken suddenly after the poo-hits-the-fan?
Nothing lasts forever. Everything has its time. We can make provisions for the loss of food stores or even preps. What we can’t replace is the loss of a loved one or companion. Death is inevitable.
How will you handle going it alone if the one you counted on most in life to be there forever is taken? Unfortunately, we will all experience this scenario to some degree or another in our lifetime, but in a poo-hits-the-fan scenario, how we plan for it may determine how long we too will last.
Keep in mind that dealing with grief from a sudden loss is different than one that is anticipated through sickness or old age. We need to know what to expect so if and when we lose someone suddenly (although we all differ to some extent) we'll understand the rollercoaster of feelings. These feelings are okay. It's a natural part of the grieving process. Not only will grief affect your emotions; ranging from anger, sadness, disbelief, guilt and shock (the latter three were biggies for me – as the day my parents died was the first time in nine-month that I had not driven them), but grief may also affect you physically with an inability to sleep, a lack of appetite or physical illness - all because we desperately want things to be back to the way they were. The way we thought they would be forever.
Ultimately, what you “must” do is accept that your loved one is gone and allow time for grieving. Again, these are natural and normal feelings. But have you considered what you would do if you were going it alone with the “lone wolf” approach to prepping and you lost your loved one? Your well-being would be left up to you … alone.
As with all things preparedness, even death needs to have a plan in place. One of the best ways to prepare for this unthinkable event is to consider creating a prepper group (a mutual assistance group) instead of going with the “lone wolf” approach. This way if, and when, the poo should ever hit the fan; and you lose a loved one, you will have support while you are grieving (not in the therapy sense, but in the physical sense ), to allow you time to grieve without worrying about defending your property and personal belongings while you are going through a plethora of emotions.
Remember. Nothing last forever. Plan for it.
- Survivor Jane
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