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How I Learned to Poop Correctly

I once watched an episode where Dr. Oz (save the groans) was talking about pooping. Yeah, I know it’s not PC to discuss such a topic in public forum and yet we let’er fly in the privacy of our homes with gas … okay fart jokes, contests on who can toot the loudest (you do so), and triumphantly describe the texture, length, density and coloration of your “business” after exiting the bathroom. Heck, there are even songs about poop! And … that’s okay? Well, PC or not, I am going to talk “poop” or more to the point … the elimination thereof.  
Back to the show. The good ol’ doctor was telling his audience that the best way to poop (excrete, evacuate, defecate, expel, have a movement … whatever your preferred term for your personal elimination process), is to squat. What he said made sense to me. I mean, think back in your history, well not your history, but history in general. People used to use pots, the riverbank, behind a tree, out in the field or for that small-diapered child with a strained look on their face, a piece of furniture. All while squatting. 
Now it’s not actually the squatting, but the posture of our body when squatting that creates the magic. You just have to agree, you have had a far better “movement” out in the woods than on that porcelain throne of yours. Right? (Yes you have.) I didn’t say the most comfortable poop – I’m talking success here. And why do you think that is? It’s because when we squat our anorectal angle straightens and voila’ the flood gates open. Our what?? Wait, what?? I hear ya.
The anorectal angle is a part in the rectum (your inner hiney) the anal canal – nuf said. Think of the anorectal angle as a hose. Straight is better than bent. When we sit on the toilet, the anorectal angle will kink which causes us to strain to release the demon.  
So, less standing on your toilet to do your business (and yes some people actually do this), what can you do (no pun intended) to have elimination bliss? Well, in comes the Squatty Potty® The Squatty Potty is a footstool (comes in 7” and 9” heights) that helps create a squatting position while sitting on the toilet to give better “toilet posture”. Unfortunately for me, $25 was way out of the question for a footstool – even if it meant going to pooping paradise. However, not to be defeated, I shopped around and found my own footstool. Although my footstool cannot neatly wrap around the toilet base, it can fold up and sit nicely behind the toilet and is easily accessible at a fraction of the cost. I call it my “poopie pedestal”. Same concept, same results.Samsonite Mini Folding Step Stool, Olive/Tan 
So, why am I even talking about pooping on a preparedness blog? Well, think about it. If and when the poo ever hits the fan, we will be eating different foods than what we are normally accustom to eating, and possibly even drinking less water. We could also be carrying heavy objects, and straining. These can lead to constipation – not a good thing on a good day, let alone a not so good day. And could result in hemorrhoids - those blueberry-like cling-ons around the anal opening caused from straining – reeeally not a good thing. 
Knowing how to properly bend your body to expel any bottled up misery could actually send you to your own paradise – pooping paradise that is. - Just sayin’.
 I once watched an episode of Dr. Oz (save the groans) where he was talking about bowel movements, or as he put it, "pooping". Yeah, I know it’s not PC to discuss such a topic in public forum and yet we let’er fly in the privacy of our own homes with gas … okay fart jokes, contests on who can toot the loudest (you do so), and, triumphantly describe the texture, length, density and coloration of your “business” after exiting the bathroom. Heck, there are even songs about poop! And … that’s okay? Well, PC or not, I am going to talk about “poop” or more to the point … the elimination thereof.  
 
Back to the show. The good ol’ doctor was telling his audience that the best way to poop (excrete, evacuate, defecate, expel, have a movement, go number 2 … whatever your preferred term for your personal elimination process), is to squat. What he said made sense to me. I mean, think back in your history, well not your history, but history in general. People used pots, the riverbanks, behind a tree, out in the field - all while squatting to poop.
 
Its not the actual squatting, but the posture of our body when squatting that creates the magic. You just have to agree, if you have ever "gone" out in the woods, you have had a far better “movement” than on that porcelain throne of yours. Right? (Yes you have) I didn’t say the most comfortable poop experience – I’m talking success here. And why do you think that is? Well, it’s because when we squat our anorectal angle straightens and voila’ the flood gates open. Our what?? Wait, what?? I hear ya. Let me explain. The anorectal angle is a part in the rectum (your inner hiney) the anal canal – nuf said. Think of the anorectal angle as a hose. Straight is better than bent. When we sit on the toilet, the anorectal angle will kink which causes us to strain to release the demon.  
 
So, less standing, and then squatting on your toilet to do your business (and yes some people actually do this), what canpoopie pedestal 533x300 you do (no pun intended) to have elimination bliss?
 
Well, in comes the Squatty Potty® - a footstool (comes in 7” and 9” heights) that helps create a squatting position while sitting on your toilet to give better “toilet posture”. Unfortunately for me, $25 was way out of the question for a footstool – even if it meant going to pooping paradise. However, not to be defeated, I shopped around and found my own footstool. Although my footstool cannot neatly wrap around the toilet base, it can fold up and sits nicely behind the toilet and is easily accessible at a fraction of the cost (I got mine on sale). I call it my “Poopie Pedestal”. Same concept, same results. (Samsonite Mini Folding Step Stool, Olive/Tan )
 
 To better understand the anorectal angle and the squat position here’s an amusing discussion by the makers of the Squatty Potty - that is, opposed me boring you with a lot of scientific jargon that I haven’t a clue what it all means. 
 
                                   

So, why am I even talking about pooping on a preparedness blog? Well, think about it. If and when the poo ever hits the fan, we will be eating different foods than what we are normally accustom to eating, and possibly even drinking less water. We could also be carrying heavy objects, and straining. All of these can lead to constipation – not a good thing on a good day, let alone a not so good day; and could result in hemorrhoids - those blueberry-like cling-ons around the anal opening caused from straining – reeeally not a good thing. 
 
Knowing how to properly bend your body to expel any bottled up misery could be your ticket to your own paradise – pooping paradise that is. - Just sayin’.

 - Survivor Jane

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